It all started innocently enough. Abbie Appel trained Friend #1 who referred her to Friend # 2. Things were going fine until the friends started feuding.

“I got caught in the middle,” Appel sighs. “They were telling me things about each other and then said I spread the rumors.”

Appel learned a hard lesson. That sometimes too much intimacy can hurt a trainer-client relationship.

“I’ll tell a client when I’m not comfortable with the information they’re sharing,” says Lori Sunderman, who adds that she has become close friends with several of her clients. “Sometimes the chemistry is just right and you click. One of my clients, Gail, is my best friend outside the gym.”

“I think clients should realize that while we are certainly in a close relationship with them, this is a business and certain topics should be off limits in a professional sense,” Sunderman adds.

Lisa Thibodeau reveals that several clients have shared intimate secrets with her, including the sex education of their children!

“And I’ve had a few guys profess their undying love,” she says. “Naturally I had to trust my gut and drop them as clients because it was too uncomfortable.”

Michael Frank, the consummate by-the-book trainer says he lets his clients know up front that he’s there to train—not to dispense advise or chit-chat.

“I have a job to do and we both need to focus on the workout,” he says. “What I’ve found in the past is that by focusing on something else for an hour takes their minds off the problem at hand.”

Chuck Wong Chong, on the other hand, says that as a trainer, his role often morphs into that of a confidante.

“What my clients reveal is held in the strictest confidence, he says. “I adhere to a strict code of ethics. If my clients come to me with their marital problems and need to release, I listen. I may not be able to offer advice but if I can turn their mood around through empathy and exercise, that’s great.”

Chuck points out that if someone has had a really rough day, they may NEED to unload before they can concentrate on the workout.

“I keep them on track but I do realize that my role as a trainer may include some supportive therapy as well as counseling on nutrition. Fitness is not only about the workout you get at the gym,” he explains.

Tevvy Washington takes training to a spiritual level.

“If I can bring peace and joy to my clients during a session and let them share that joy, I’m a happy man,” says the high priest of physical fitness. “And I want to spread that happiness—even if they’re struggling through a workout. It’s about achieving peace even when things are tough. I saw that all in action when my daughter passed away. All that love came right back to me and my wife.”

With such diversification, a word to the wise would be to scope out the trainers who suit your workout style.

“Watch the trainers in the gym and see how they relate to their clients,” advises Michael Papamichael. “Feel free to ask them questions and see if your personalities and goals are in synch.”

Papamichael adds that, as in any one-on-one situation, we all should think twice before revealing intimate details.