 Food
Is Our Friend
Seven Bad Foods That Are Good For You
A New
Years Resolution That's Easy To Make...And Keep
Physical Therapy And Electric
Stimulation
A Tale Of Weight Loss And Fitness Gain
Your Health Questions Answered
Age
Slows Metabolic Rate, But Exercise Jump-Starts It
Everything
In Life Is About Choice
In Other
News...
YOUR HEALTH QUESTIONS ANSWERED
On the lighter side here is an e-mail
that was circulating last month poking fun at exercise and eating
right—–remember...on the lighter side.
Q: I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise
can prolong life. Is this true?
Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it ... don't
waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not
make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it
faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a
cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an
efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef
is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you
100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable slop.
Q: Is beer or wine bad for me?
Look, it goes to the earlier point about fruits and vegetables. As
we all know, scientists divide everything in the world into three categories: animal,
mineral, and vegetable. We all know that beer and wine are not animal, and they are not on
the periodic table of elements, so that only leaves one thing, right? My advice: Have a
burger and a beer and enjoy your liquid vegetables.
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
Well, if you have a body, and you have body fat, your ratio is one
to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular
exercise program?
Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain :
Good.
Q: If I stop smoking, will I live longer?
Nope. Smoking is a sign of individual expression and
peace of mind. If you stop, you'll probably stress yourself to death in record time.
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
You're not listening. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil.
In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Q: What's the secret to healthy eating?
Thicker gravy.
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around
the middle?
Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You
should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
Are you crazy? Cocoa beans ... another vegetable.
It's the best feel good food around!
I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about
food and diets. Have a cookie…flour is a grain!
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